Is there anything you can do to be a better cook? I say yes. And it’s not about always eating out at expensive restaurants, or learning the latest recipes. It’s easy, and mostly involves mindset. That’s my theme. Mindset matters. And if your cooking is really bad, the first thing to do is admit it so you can try to improve! Because nobody wants an unhappy marriage with food! Here are 7 steps to greater happiness in the kitchen.
Be realistic
Be realistic about what you can achieve given your circumstances (time, space, equipment). You cannot be expected to cook like a gourmet chef, unless you work as one at least part time. Experiment once in a while, but don’t feel you have to cook something that requires hours of preparation or special equipment.
Don’t overdo it
Don’t try too hard to make everything perfect. Learning how to relax will help your cooking tremendously, at least if you’re like me and far prefer enjoying what I eat over the act of eating itself (a good friend recently told me he feels the same way). It’s okay for food not to be absolutely delicious every single time. Almost nobody has a natural flair for this; practice helps. And it should go without saying that there’s no need to be anxious about your cooking! That will only make things worse…
Have fun!
This is an interesting party trick I’ve actually seen happen: if you tell somebody they have to have fun while cooking, they just might. It’s hard not to have a good time if you let go of any expectations or demands of the result and just open your senses. Cooking requires more of our senses than many other activities – sight, hearing, smell often play a role in deciding what goes where and when – so get involved with what you’re doing!
Desire
Don’t cook unless you feel like it. This is sometimes easier said than done, I know… But there are some things you can do to make this happen: get more sleep so that you don’t get tired mid-day; embrace boredom at times by going for a walk or reading a chapter in a book (I’ve been spending far too much time playing video games over the last few years…); if you’re feeling overwhelmed by work or other commitments, let some of them slide temporarily. I used to think it was good for my career to never take a break, but now I know better! 5) Don’t cook just because you feel like you have to eat. This is more common than one might expect – there are lots of people who don’t actually enjoy eating very much, myself included at times – so don’t push yourself into it unless that’s really what you want to do. Forcing yourself only results in resentment. It’s okay not to eat sometimes!
Taste
Taste as you go along and adjust the seasoning accordingly instead of waiting until the end. The more you taste, the more you’ll learn about how food tastes when it’s cooked, and seasoning is a key part of that learning process. Once in a while my wife will add something to a dish at the end without telling me, but I usually find out when I taste it!
Confidence
Cook dishes you feel confident about. When I started cooking in my late teens after moving out on my own, this was hard for me because my mom had done all the cooking in my family until then. So many dishes from childhood were tainted with memories of being annoyed that she insisted on making them even though they tasted too bland or just weird. And frankly, some people have better places than others – there are foods I love that nobody else seems to enjoy – so if you’re not confident about how something is going to turn out, chances are the other person probably won’t be either. Cooking for somebody who knows better than you can help with this, but of course you have to be willing to listen to their feedback!
Relax
Cooking is an escape in many ways, the opposite of work in this respect. When I cook I can lose myself in my thoughts and let go of everything else; when I’m done with the meal (and if it turned out well), there’s usually that moment where I take a deep breath and think to myself “wow, this actually worked!”
Mistakes
It doesn’t matter if you mess up every once in a while. Cookbooks are there for people who want to be at least relatively precise when following recipes – which is great if you like having your expectations met whenever possible – but most home cooks don’t work like that all or even most of the time. Making mistakes is part of how we learn!
Personally, I’m still working on all of these steps… But at least I’m aware enough now of my limitations that I won’t expect too much from myself. Nobody’s perfect, nor should they be expected or required to be just because they’re hungry. Nope, there’s nothing wrong with being a mediocre cook – as long as you don’t demand perfection of yourself! Have fun cooking and just let go.
