If you have been following my instagram stories lately, you’ll know that I am about to be made redundant from my role as a marketing assistant. If I am completely honest, it has come as a bit of a relief as I had been feeling increasingly anxious about the end of my maternity leave looming and having to make the decision to either go back to work or stay at home with my baby, and the fact that the decision has been pretty much made for me has taken a huge weight off of my shoulders. I don’t think I would have returned to my job anyway, but at the same time I felt guilty for expecting Sean to go out and carry onworking while I chose to stay home. Anyway, my role is no longer in existence and so here we are… in the next month or so I will be officially unemployed. Of course, the planner in me has already started trying to work out what to do next and how I can contribute financially to the pot. I’ve found myself standing at a cross roads, with four potential directions to move in but I just don’t know what to do for the best. A lot of my uncertainty, I think, is fear of failing. I don’t want to fall on my arse. If I am going to make something of myself and be a good role model for my daughter, I have to choose wisely.
For a while, I thought about reopening my online baby shop and at times that still seems tempting. I met so many special people through my little business and I always got such a thrill at each sale & piece of coverage. I just wonder now if my heart would still be in it like it was before. I lived, breathed and slept Beebies, and I would hate to reopen and it not feel the same. I wonder if that business model would even work again the way it did? I closed it because I couldn’t cope with being around so many babies when I couldn’t get pregnant and have one of my own. It was personal and just had to be done for my mental health more than anything, but I wonder now that Florence is here whether we could be as successful again?
Over the last 18 months or so, this very blog has become my new corner of the internet and I am so grateful to have recorded so many memories of my pregnancy with Florence and my journey through motherhood so far. I have also had the pleasure of working with some truly amazing brands and that makes me wonder whether I could do this for a living, as so many people do. I love all of the social elements, and I have had so many lovley messages lately about how my blog as helped people with different things – be it with ways to play with their baby, weaning, gift ideas or even their health! It’s been really quite heart warming I have also become quite taken with instagram stories, and document our daily lives on there. I have found a love and a passion which I think could grow into a career if I just had the balls! Perhaps I am a little late to the party? Perhaps not? I do know that I will continue ‘blogging’ regardless of whether it is part of my ‘day job’ or not though. If you come here often, if you read my ramblings I would really appreciate your thoughts on what you would like to see more of here. And I am so grateful for your support.
I have two other options too though… two other things I think I could, maybe, somehow be good at if I could just let myself believe in them. I have / am about to dip my toe into both of them to test the water. One is to focus on my love for event planning! Over the last 7 or so years, I have organised a number of different events – parties, baby showers, charity fundraisers, product launches and at the end of each one people have always told me that I should do it for a living. I love everything about event planning, the initial colating of ideas, the endless to do lists, the chaos of the lead up, the relief and the buzz when all of your hard work has paid off, and that makes me think that maybe I should take this hobby of mine to the next level. But do people really pay for people to plan their parties? Would enough people really pay me to make this something more? I have all of the foundations, a ready made team, a shed load of chair sashes & candelabras, the ground work of a complimentary retail opportunity to run along side it. I have two wedding venue decor clients booked, another two parties in the diary. I am just struggling to make that jump!
And lastly, and perhaps the one I lean towards the most, would be to become a family photographer. Documenting Florence’s little life so far has awoken a passion in me for capturing beautiful natural moments on camera. Over the last week I have been asked by three separate families if I would mind photographing them in return for payment because they have seen the shots I’ve taken of Florence and love them! What a compliment that is! In fact tomorrow I am shooting my first ‘bump shoot’ for my sister in law & I am so honored and excited to have been asked to capture such a special time for her. I’ll be honest though, I don’t have all the fancy kit & I wouldn’t know where to even start with photo shop and that does make me think that I’m punching a bit above my weight by wanting to be a fully fledged ‘photographer.
This is a really funny time for me. Until now, I’ve always had a plan & known exactly what I wanted to do. Whatever path I choose has to be able to work around Florence, not to mention any future babies. What would you do if you were me? What would you do?