For some, the first 12 weeks of pregnancy is notorious for being like something close to torture. Your body shuts down, you’re puking, exhausted, EVERYTHING hurts and to say your emotions are running high would be an understatement. And yet your brain keeps telling you that you should be happy, excited and jumping for joy. Though deep down inside you are all of those things, at times it seems like you might just exist in zombie state unable to move and tucked under your duvet for the rest of time. It’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, even though you know in your heart of hearts it’s there beaming away. As mums to be, our first steps into motherhood are tough ones and while everyone’s concern and attention is on you, it’s easy for the dad to be to be overlooked.
Sean, to put it frankly, was bloody amazing.
On the days where he’d get home from a long day of work to a kitchen full of washing up, a house that looked like a bomb had hit it, a dog who’d been busting for a wee and a decent walk and me sound asleep on the sofa, he did not once question what the hell I’d been doing all day. Just simply washed up, cleared up, walked the pup and snuggled up next to me.
On the days when things were a little touch and go, when I’d get up in the morning and see blood in my pants and sob uncontrollably for fear of losing our baby, he’d calmly take me in his arms until the sobs turned to silent tears and then practically pick me up, pack me into the car and drive that horrendous drive to the hospital we are already so familiar with. He was of course as worried as I was, but in those moments he was a pillar of strength.
On the day I had a huge craving for chicken & leek pie, off he headed to the supermarket to fetch the ingredients, make it from fresh and serve it up to find that actually, 2 hours later that hankering had turned to an irrational food aversion, he did not moan or get offended, just said ‘okay’ and put a pizza in the oven for my tea.
The truth is, while Mama is busy growing a little person & going through momentous physical & mental changes, Daddies can feel completely powerless while at the same time experience a whole load of emotions themselves. Mainly, their priorities lie with taking care of you and while that is of course exactly how it should be, their worries & efforts can be overlooked. So this one is for them. The unsung heroes of the first trimester. And the second. And the third to be honest.