There’s no doubt about it, life changes a whole lot the second you become a mother. Your days are suddenly split into four hourly chunks of changing dirty nappies, feeding the baby and tiptoeing around the house in the hope that they’ll nap for just ten more minutes. With children comes mess and washing and stuff. You are suddenly responsible for a teeny tiny person who relies on you to cater for her every need and so inevitably this journey we call motherhood has an impact on you as a person too. Inspired by the lovely Lyndsey’s recent post, I thought I would share with you some of the ways I have changed since becoming a parent.
I am more confident
In so many ways! First off, I am confident in my decisions – every single one of them. Before when faced with a big decision I would spend unspoken amount of times going over and over which way to go and whether I was doing the right thing. These days I am much better at just trusting my gut instincts and getting things done. Just like I did when deciding to wean Florence at 4 months old.
Secondly, other than in a professional capacity, I have never been any good at meeting new people or talking to strangers. Likewise, until recently I never really felt comfortable in a room of friends – I would constantly be worrying about making a fool of myself and questioning whether they actually wanted me there or not. A lot of that lends itself to being bullied as a child I think, but while sometimes those niggles make an appearance here and there, motherhood has really given me the confidence to be a bit more self assured. I happily chat to people in the queue in Tesco who I’ve never met before, I’ve made new friends at baby groups and I’ve reconnected with old ones who I let drift away.
I don’t have time for nonsense
Before Florence was born so much of each was filled with worrying about office politics and he said she said dramas and getting worked up over things people would say and do that perhaps were not fair or quite frankly just ridiculous. Now though, between nappy changes, play dates and baby cuddles I really just don’t have time for all the nonsense and drama.
I can do all sorts with just one hand
Oh my goodness, the list of things you learn to do with one hand while the other one is busy holding the baby is endless. Washing up, cooking, showering and shopping are some (definitely not all!) examples of this.
I worry more
This one sort of comes with the territory of motherhood. While somethings I used to worry about seem so insignificant to me now, I stress over all sorts of things and can be quite irrational sometimes. It’s mostly about some form of harm coming to my family and suddenly I am terrified of death. Take the other day for example – I had a coughing fit which lasted about an hour and then got all hot and itchy. I immediately googled my symptoms and was convinced I was dying of an aggressive case of Lymphoma. I spent the entire night worrying that I had not made a will or have anything worth leaving in one, how life would be for Florence growing up without her Mum & how Sean would cope as a widower. Turns out I was just having an allergic reaction to the new air freshener.
I can put myself in the shoes of others more
I’ve always considered myself to be quite a caring person. I am a good friend, work hard for causes that I believe in and hate the thought of hurting anybodies feelings. However, before I became a Mama I would get quite impatient with people who seemed to swet the small stuff. Lately though I am definitely more compassionate – if something is bothering somebody or is impacting their lives in a negative way, it’s important and that person has every right to sweat it, regardless of how big or small a deal it may seem to me. If I can help or offer some words of kindness then I will instead of just rolling my eyes and moving on.
I am grateful for every day (even the bad ones!)
From as early as I can remember I always wanted to be a Mum. The very fact that I have been given this chance to raise a beautiful little girl is by far the greatest gift anyone could have ever given me and for that I am truly thankful. There have been so many tragedies over the last few months, both close to home and further afield resulting in the loss of lvoed ones, loss of homes and loss of health. On those days when the baby just won’t settle or I’ve had it up to here with the constant mess of our house or when someone has just put a right downer on my day I am reminded of how lucky I am to have all that I do and am truly grateful.
I realise Life is too short
This links in quite closely to my last point. I am learning all to quickly how short life can be and so am living in the moment more than I ever have done before. I also no longer take the little things for granted or go to bed angry with an argument unsolved.
So there you have it, motherhood has changed me and I really am okay with that.