There’s no doubt about it, life changes a whole lot the second you become a mother. Your days are suddenly split into four hourly chunks of changing dirty nappies, feeding the baby and tiptoeing around the house in the hope that they’ll nap for just ten more minutes. With children comes mess and washing and stuff. You are suddenly responsible for a teeny tiny person who relies on you to cater for her every need and so inevitably this journey we call motherhood has an impact on you as a person too. Inspired by the lovely Lyndsey’s recent post, I thought I would share with you some of the ways I have changed since becoming a parent.

I am more confident

In so many ways! First off, I am confident in my decisions – every single one of them. Before when faced with a big decision  I would spend unspoken amount of times going over and over which way to go and whether I was doing the right thing. These days I am much better at just trusting my gut instincts and getting things done. Just like I did when deciding to wean Florence at 4 months old.

Secondly, other than in a professional capacity, I have never been any good at meeting new people or talking to strangers. Likewise, until recently I never really felt comfortable in a room of friends – I would constantly be worrying about making a fool of myself and questioning whether they actually wanted me there or not. A lot of that lends itself to being bullied as a child I think, but while sometimes those niggles make an appearance here and there, motherhood has really given me the confidence to be a bit more self assured. I happily chat to people in the queue in Tesco who I’ve never met before, I’ve made new friends at baby groups and I’ve reconnected with old ones who I let drift away.

I don’t have time for nonsense

Before Florence was born so much of each was filled with worrying about office politics and he said she said dramas and getting worked up over things people would say and do that perhaps were not fair or quite frankly just ridiculous. Now though, between nappy changes, play dates and baby cuddles I really just don’t have time for all the nonsense and drama.

I can do all sorts with just one hand

Oh my goodness, the list of things you learn to do with one hand while the other one is busy holding the baby is endless. Washing up, cooking, showering and shopping are some (definitely not all!) examples of this.

I worry more

This one sort of comes with the territory of motherhood. While somethings I used to worry about seem so insignificant to me now, I stress over all sorts of things and can be quite irrational sometimes. It’s mostly about some form of harm coming to my family and suddenly I am terrified of death. Take the other day for example – I had a coughing fit which lasted about an hour and then got all hot and itchy. I immediately googled my symptoms and was convinced I was dying of an aggressive case of Lymphoma. I spent the entire night worrying that I had not made a will or have anything worth leaving in one, how life would be for Florence growing up without her Mum & how Sean would cope as a widower. Turns out I was just having an allergic reaction to the new air freshener.

I can put myself in the shoes of others more

I’ve always considered myself to be quite a caring person. I am a good friend, work hard for causes that I believe in and hate the thought of hurting anybodies feelings. However, before I became a Mama I would get quite impatient with people who seemed to swet the small stuff. Lately though I am definitely more compassionate – if something is bothering somebody or is impacting their lives in a negative way, it’s important and that person has every right to sweat it, regardless of how big or small a deal it may seem to me. If I can help or offer some words of kindness then I will instead of just rolling my eyes and moving on.

I am grateful for every day (even the bad ones!) 

From as early as I can remember I always wanted to be a Mum. The very fact that I have been given this chance to raise a beautiful little girl is by far the greatest gift anyone could have ever given me and for that I am truly thankful. There have been so many tragedies over the last few months, both close to home and further afield resulting in the loss of lvoed ones, loss of homes and loss of health. On those days when the baby just won’t settle or I’ve had it up to here with the constant mess of our house or when someone has just put a right downer on my day I am reminded of how lucky I am to have all that I do and am truly grateful.

I realise Life is too short

This links in quite closely to my last point. I am learning all to quickly how short life can be and so am living in the moment more than I ever have done before. I also no longer take the little things for granted or go to bed angry with an argument unsolved.

So there you have it, motherhood has changed me and I really am okay with that.

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Today I get to introduce you to Rachael – a fellow blogger and first time Mama who I’ve been chatting to for some time now. Florence & Theodore (Teddy) were born around the same time and I’ve loved following Rachael’s journey into motherhood. We’ve swapped blogs for a day and today she’s here to share the Lessons she’s learned since becoming a Mummy.

Nothing can prepare you for life with a baby, especially your first. You may have read all the books, spent hours browsing the internet for tips and spoke to all your relatives or friends with children, but nothing will give you a true representative of what it’s like. I had this idea in my head of what it would be like and naively thought ‘how hard can it actually be?!’

It turns out..it is actually really fucking hard! Your whole life is completely turned upside down and on its head. Everything you thought you knew goes out the window and I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve just stared at Teddy wondering what the bloody hell I’ve let myself in for.
Not all of the lessons I have learnt will be positive ones and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Some people will make out like parenting is a breeze and the most wonderful thing in the world all of the time, which more often than not, it is! However there are the days where you just want to shut yourself in a dark room and you aren’t sure whether you want to cry or sleep first!

• Not all babies sleep where they are supposed to! I learnt this the hard way when we first brought Teddy home. On our first night I put him into his crib next to my bed expecting him to sleep until his next feed. He hates the crib. He hates the moses basket. What he does love, is sleeping in bed with Mummy and Daddy! I never thought I would co-sleep and it didn’t really occur to me that we might end up doing, however it’s possibly the best thing we’ve done, for all our sakes!
• You really don’t get 5 minutes to yourself. If you aren’t feeding, burping, changing or entertaining a baby, you are catching up on all the clothes washing that has suddenly come from nowhere, washing the pots or trying to shower like a ninja whilst the baby naps. What i’d give for just 10 minutes to sit and read a book..
• You’ll cry at the littlest things and it’s completely normal! Parenting is hard work and it can sometimes feel so overwhelming that you just need five minutes to have a good cry.
• You look at the world in a whole different light. Over the past couple of months there have been some really horrific things happening all over the country and although they have always affected me, since becoming a Mum, they have affected me in a whole different way. I worry about the world that Teddy is growing up in and we can only hope that it does get better.
• Babies shit a lot. They also like shitting in a freshly changed nappy. I’m sure he does it on purpose.
• You might not feel that overwhelming rush of love for your baby as soon as they are born, and that’s nothing to worry about! You’ve just been through labour and wondering what the bloody hell has just happened. But when that love does come, and it will, it’ll be like nothing else you’ve ever felt. It’s so intense that when you really sit and think about it, it completely consumes you and there is nothing you wouldn’t do for them.
• It’s okay to ask questions! No question is too silly or stupid, I can’t tell you how many ridiculous questions I’ve asked google or other mummies, especially in the middle of the night when you are sleep deprived and trying to stay awake over a feeding baby!
• You’ll see your partner in a whole other light. Watching Aaron be a Daddy to our little boy is my absolute favourite thing in the world. I’ve really lucked out with Aaron and I don’t know what I would have done without him. Teddy & I are so lucky to have him.